My own makeover
My revival feels like I'm waking up from a deep sleep. Actually it feels more like a coma. Remember the story of Rip van Winkle? The big difference though is that all this time I didn't know that I was in a coma. Now I'm busy waking up for the first time... and with that comes this dullness like when you wake up from a real sleep, except the dullness in this case is my flesh. This theme of dreams is strong. I've just remembered a line from Keith Green:
Like waking up from the longest dream,
how real it seemed, until your love broke through.
It's from a song called, "Your Love Broke Through". He had a role to play in me becoming a Christian in the first place and I have a lot of his music. Anyway his quote says it so well.
Listen. If you're like me, you would've also seen those extreme makeover shows, or Oprah's makeovers or the show where someone is chased down in a mall and asked if they wanted to be made over! We always have a WOW moment when the before and after views are shown. But it really amazes me though to watch the person's reactions. As an audience we have had our big WOW and then they put the person in front of a mirror and their reaction is always one of surprise. Even in extreme makeovers where surgery is involved, the person may still have swelling or some bruising and yet when the bandages are pulled away for the first time... there is this reaction of real amazement.
My old view of myself is the one that I see daily in the mirror. My flesh is sinful. My flesh is weak. It is given to being cynical. It can be sceptical. It can be lazy. It's fat. But I am beginning to wake up and see something else for the first time. I am discovering that actually I do have a spirit... after all. I mean look at it this way: If you have never seen a thing but you know that it exists, the first time you actually see it, it is quite an experience. I remember the first time I saw New York. The first time I visited Disneyland. The first time I drank root beer! They were memorable occasions. And so while I've known about this spirit stuff the reality of it is only now beginning to dawn on me.
While my flesh may be regrettably sinful my spirit being is not! While my flesh is weak my spirit being looks like Superman! While my mind may be given to bouts of cynicism or scepticism, my heart rejoices in the freedom of knowing the truth. While my flesh might groan and moan about doing something, my spirit being is extremely enthusiastic and willing to go! Like I say, I am starting to see something that I haven't seen before.
The old me is that flesh-n-mirror view but the new me looks more like Superman!
I really don't recognise this Superman person. I'm having a hard time accepting this spirit being because he even has lots of hair and he's so big! And yes even the big S on his chest is like so over the top! And yet. I see the Father inhabiting that space. The Holy Lord God Almighty is there. I see the Son, Jesus Christ there. My Saviour, my Lord, my King and my big brother. I see the Holy Spirit in there. My personal guide, my friend and helper. On my computer I have a help system. It's available and is context sensitive to whatever I happen to be working with. That is what the Holy Spirit is like and so much more!
This new view of myself is difficult to identify with. After all I'm used to the old view and it is a lot more comfortable being a couch potato than a flying Superman. Lord of the Remote Control is way easier but even so... the flesh doesn't feel as comfortable as it used to either. I like this feeling of strength. I could get used to this for sure. I like the ability to see through things. I like the ability of flying. I like the authority of taking out the bad guys and throwing out the riff-raff. I like the ability of being able to rescue people in trouble. However my kryptonite is my flesh. When I expose my spirit being to sin it would seem to cause it to fail.
Like when... my lead elder asked me to lead one Sunday evening.
I've been doing this obedience off and on but I'm beginning to understand the significance of just doing it! Actually it is that simple - just do it! Surrender to it and play follow the leader! Like the game of 'Simple Simon Says!' And following it up with thankfulness!
Remember your leaders, men who spoke to you the word of God, and considering the results of their conduct, imitate their faith. Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they watch on behalf of your souls, as those who will give account, that they may do this with joy, and not with groaning, for that would be unprofitable for you.
Heb 13:7, 17
"and not with groaning..." Now that is interesting. I used to think that this implied that we shouldn't groan about having to obey our leaders. But what I pick up here is that when we obey our leaders, they watch out for us with joy, however when we don't obey, they groan and that --that is their groaning-- is therefore not to our benefit! That's a tough one for me 'cos hey... I want to profit whenever I can!